I don’t want to live on this planet anymore.
I’ll try to go to school tomorrow, the three last lessons. My ‘mother’ is going on a meeting with my psychologist and they are going to discuss what they are going to do since I refuse to talk to her. I hope I’ll get a new psychologist who I can talk to without disliking her.. meh.. I hate my life.
I actually don’t know what to do anymore. I can’t go to school because I can’t even look at myself. I can’t put on make up when I wake up because I hate how I look. Im so tired of this shit. Im not strong enough to fight back and I don’t know if I can keep on like this. I hate myself and I really want to die. I don’t want to live, looking like this.
2) I always get really fed up when people say things like “I couldn’t meet my friend after school yesterday and I almost felt a bit depressed.” Bitches don’t know what it’s like to be depressed.
About me..
Age: 15 Sex: Female. How long have you been cutting? About one year. Favorite tool? Eyebrow cutter blade. Where (place) do you cut? (school, home, etc.) Bedroom, bathroom at home. Do you have to hide your whole arm(s) (wrists,forearms,& upper arms etc)? thigh, wrists, forearms.. Do you have to wear long-sleeves & long-pants all the time? I usually do. Everyone say that im so white so.. in gym, i usually wear a bandage or something. Do you cut on your stomach or chest? I really want to.. Are your legs, arms, & other body parts covered in scars? left arm and thigh What’s your favorite excuse to use when someone asks about a cut? that i fell… but im good at hiding so no one usually sees it Off the top of your head, about how many scars do you have?: Don’t know. 8 or 9 on my arm and.. well i recently cut so i don’t know how they’ll look after a while Have you ever been hospitalized because of your cutting? No Do you have (diagnosed or not) depression and/or bipolar/bpd?: No. But im going to my psychologist for the first time in about 8 days i think. guess i’ll know after a while Who knows you cut? Bestfriends, family and thanks to a stupid fucking idiot; most of the people on school. Have you ever been caught cutting? No Have your parents ever confronted you about a bloody sleeve, or towel? No. Did you have a good childhood? Lots of bullying and stuff.. Why do you cut? Forget things, take mind of things, relief, anger, upset, hate, tears….yeah..miserable. Have you ever talked to a therapist or counselor? Nope, but going in 8 days for the first time. Do you want to stop cutting, but can’t because of addiction? I don’t want to stop actually, i’ve got nothing else. How many times have you tried to complete suicide? i don’t know actually.. i stood on a bridge one time, but i left.. Do you like cutting? Yes and no. What are your views on cutting, and other self-injury? I don’t have views on other peoples, its their life at the end of the day. It’s not dusgusting, it’s a way to stay alive. Do you like watching films about self injury? Yes Do you like looking at pictures of self-injury? Yes. Do you sometimes envy other people? (non-self-injurers) For different things. Have you ever taken any pictures of your cuts/scars? Yes. Have you ever done a school assignment on cutting, or self-injury? Nope. What do you like to listen to while cutting? Nothing… Have you ever needed stitches from cutting? No. Do you dream about cutting? Sometimes. Would you rather have a boyfriend/girlfriend that is also a cutter? I don’t want anyone to hurt so much that the would need to cut..
